It's All About Communication

Lately, I've had the chance to talk to one of the other teachers in the community college I teach. The teacher used to be an orthopedist (a bone doctor) in Russia but is teaching international comity now.

We talked about how he started teaching international comity and he told me there are something we can do to make people feel comfortable being around us; and to make us more welcome. I found that they are some different ways you talk to others.

Have you even noticed what other people are doing when you are talking to them? Are they trying to get rid of the topic or interested in the topic you are talking about? Do they have the chance to give their own opinions? Do they have any response to the topic?

How can you make people like to talk to you? Or, how can you make yourself a good listener? When your friends have doubt on something, are you the one they often ask opinions for?

There are something that we can do.
1. Keep smiling. Listen more and speak less.
Always keep your smile when you meet people. Listen more in the conversation, don't be eager to give your opinion, if they want to know, they will ask.

2. Value your promises.
Don't make promises easily. Once you promise people to do something, means you care about them, you care about the things you promise them to do. So, don't break it.

3. Look at others when you are talking to them.
That is a very basic but important rule. Looking at the people you are talking to is very important. That tells them that you are really listening. If you think looking at them in the eyes is kind of rude, try looking at their ears.

4. See the good quality of people.
Being with your friends, always think about their advantage in stead of their shortcomings. You will like people more. Learn how to appreciate the virtue of people, you will find out that the world is prettier and better than you think it was.

5. Always remember the good that people do for you.
Always remember what other people do for you, or how they help you. Thank them again whenever you see them.

6. Never speak the evil of others.
I know that is sometimes hard to do, but I am trying to. There are different people in the world, in your office, even in your family. We don't always have the same opinion about something all the time. No matter what, don't speak evil things of others, you will never know when it will come back to you.

7. Repeat what other people when you are talking to them.
It is also good for you. When you are asked some questions you don't know how to answer, repeat what they say may not only show you really do listen, but also give yourself some time to think how to answer. I do this when I am talking to my friends, family and students. It makes others think you really do understand what they say, and you really think their opinion is important. You will have less mis-understanding.

There are still some other things the teacher told me. I will find some other time to post it here. I am trying to do what he said to me. I want to make others feel they are more comfortable and welcome when they are talking to me. It is hard, but I believe I can make it real.