I can feel that Josh has been struggling as I have sometimes. I really do like him. Whenever I see him around, or when he is beside me, I feel happy and safe. I know there is someone who cares about me or my feeling more than others, even more than myself. Yesterday, when he read what I posted the other day, he thought that I regretted that decision I made and he is part of the "wrong decision". I really want to tell him that he is not. I know what I did is correct. Just sometimes, when I take the pressure from my folks or others, I really don't know how to talk about this with him.
I can feel that he is trying to accept all this, accept that I have a daughter, I once had a marriage. Whenever I talk about Allie, he has some opinions about it. Not like before, he had no response. I am really happy about it. I know he is trying hard. I am trying hard to prove that I am living better now. I word harder than before, I take all the job opportunities, I work about 12 hours everyday; and I am trying to save money. It just whenever I got my salary, I need to pay Allie's tuition for her painting class, or some daily supply. I will spend less, and I will work harder. I will make it. "Attitude means EVERYTHING!!"
And about Allie's dad, I really need to find a chance to tell him.--> (Why I always think about the way to fight back afterward..... ) He said that he has given up a lot of opportunities and he has wasted the work that he has done for the past 11 years. I really want to tell him, if he wants to be a dad, that is what he needs to compromise. He has wasted 11-year work, I wasted 11 years of my time. But I really appreciate that. He makes me know that there is nothing I can accomplish. I am really sorry that he can't appreciate that. He has no fortune to see or feel how good a woman I am. Sorry for him, but that is what he deserves. All I want now is he can really take good care of Allie, educate her well. Don't treat her like what he did to me. Teach her how to love and make her feel beloved, and be appreciated. Don't make her a stuck-up person. Teach her how to be humble. I think that is all I want my daughter to be like.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Frustration 2
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 Comment:
I was frustrated yesterday because I met a man that I don’t want to see.
He used to be my boss before but not now (thanks God!). When he was my boss, he was always to question me because he didn’t know what I do, he didn’t understand my works even now. He is not my boss now but we work in the same office, so sometime we meet each other. But he never look at me ether say hello to me. I don’t like this feel but I can’t to change it, so I feel frustrated.
Brenna
Post a Comment